Hello, T-Mobile. We need to talk.

We’ve been together quite a long while. I’ve always liked underdogs, and you’ve come such a long way, especially since that nasty breakup with AT&T.

You’ve been a member of the family a long time. In fact, my last five cell phones have graced your network. We still like what you do, but we need to discuss our current arrangement. It’s just too costly.

Oh, it’s not your fault. It’s mine. I was smitten by that legacy unlimited data plan that you once offered, reluctant to give it up. I now realize how wrong I’ve been. Times change. I don’t need all that data the way I once did.

My last 5 cell phones

So, as of this month we’re cutting your allowance by about half. Don’t worry, we’re still committed to unlimited talk and text, but we’ll keep the data to under 2.5 GB/mo.

Maybe “committed” was an unfortunate choice of words. We’re not making any commitment this time. We’ll just take each month one at a time. Hm, kay?

I’m glad this little change of plans isn’t too upsetting.

There’s one other small issue that I’d like to mention; you should be more careful with your use of language. As I was researching your new plans on your web site I stumbled upon a promotional offer that used some rather poor wording, so bad that I took a screen shot to document the matter.

T-Mobile-Bluetooth-Headset-Offer

The phrase “ Nexus 5 with free Bluetooth” is very simply and obviously wrong. On one level, the Nexus 5, like most smart phones, has a built-in Bluetooth radio. It’s not an optional or chargeable extra.

You’re not going to give the customer a “Bluetooth.” Cosmetic dentistry is outside of scope even for a self-declared uncarrier like T-Mobile.

The intention was clearly to offer a Bluetooth cordless headset. And that is what should head been stated. If you can spare the space for the em dash why not add the word headset just to be correct? For beyond a certain unfortunate, and long deceased, Scandinavian ruler, there is no such thing as “a Bluetooth.”

To be fair, the small print does include a reference to the “Plantronics M25 Bluetooth headset” in question. That’s quite unlike another malformed promotional offer I once encountered that referenced a “Free 16 GB USB.”

I do understand that language is a living, evolving thing. E-mail over time becomes email. “Selfie” makes it into the dictionary. Please, let us not confuse the evolution of the language with simple sloppiness.

P.S. – In just 15 minutes on the phone with a T-Mobile CSR I changed our legacy “unlimited everything” family plan to a more current plan. While we may not have unlimited data any longer, our monthly bill is expected to drop from $240 to around $96. I should have done this last spring when I dropped my business travel habit.

  • Jungle

    Just today I signed up for a tmobile prepaid service: $30 for unlimited text and data with 100 minutes of talk. Previously I was on ATT (still am, technically) and I used text and data more than minutes. I wish the minutes would be higher but I absolutely love prepay service so I can have a credit at tmobile and not worry about a bill for months. Of course, I could instead save that move and earn something called interest on it, but how much interest will I actually earn?

    I chose the NPA 408 this time!

    This is not my first time to be a tmobile customer, either. In the mid 2000s I was a prepaid tmobile customer pre-smartphone and pre-data plans, but high number (not unlimited) of text messages and high calling minutes.

    I intend to be a loyal tmobile customer, something I couldn’t easily say about ATT.